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Ken Bone Gets Boner

ken-bone Ken Bone, the affable bespectacled chubster with an affinity for red sweaters, stole the heart of the internet during last week’s Presidential Shit Show Debate when he asked the nominees about their energy policies. But now, the warriors of our current culture of shame and reporters of sensationalized trash news from all the major media outlets have set their sights on him.

It started out so good, too! He made a round of positive appearances on news programs and late night talkshows, and received a solicitation from Courtney Stodden to be the Ken to her Barbie.

Every Barbie needs a Ken … and Ken Bone is mine! #kenbone #boneme #presidentialdebate

A photo posted by Courtney A Stodden (@courtneyastodden) on

He also was offered $100,000 to appear on the adult cam network CamSoda, aka the Tab Cola of camsites. MFC4Life! In any case, he declined.

By Thursday, however, the magic started to wear off when it was reported that he accepted free rides to tweet about Uber’s new uberSELECT service. CNN Money, which should be reporting business news, went out of their way to label him a “sell out” while admitting he didn’t accept any actual money for the tweet. Ace reporting.

Things really blew up after Ken Bone did an AMA on Reddit, though. He used an old username that had quite a sordid history. “Sordid” meaning making some dad jokes about pregnant woman being “beautiful human submarines” on a Preggoporn subreddit, and saying he liked seeing Jennifer Lawrence’s butthole when her hacked pics were leaked during the Fappening. In context, he was making jokes. Along with all these new rules we have to live by or be shamed by a vocal minority of Social Justice Warriors, men are no longer allowed to like actresses’ buttholes. Hugh Mungus, wot?

Now, he’s being shamed and painted as a pervert by journalistic institutions like CBS News, Fox News, CNN Money (again), the New York fucking Times! Even Maxim, of all places, piled it on.

He’s just a regular guy who asked a question at a debate, an innocent nonpartisan question about energy. You may ask yourself, what does this story have to do with NIPS, and whatever color goo Pattycake is playing with this month (I’m guessing it will be orange and black)? Well, first they come to take away your memes, then they come to take your porn! Yes, even the preggoporn! Besides, there is a pic of Courtney Stodden in her underwear and you can find the Jennifer Lawrence nudes if you click around a bit. See her butthole in all its glory(hole?)!

Posted On: October 15, 2016 with No Comments
Category: Random
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Saddest Lapdance Ever

Well, Ben Affleck is no longer the saddest guy on the internet. A chubby wife tries to give her husband a sexy lapdance, but he is not impressed. She says that she’s going to dance to the Lana Del Ray song Lucky Ones because “they are the lucky ones,” his face, however, tells a different story. A very sad story…

The YouTube comments are gold, too!

Posted On: April 1, 2016 with No Comments
Category: Random
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